Happy Mother’s Day

To all of you who has lost a mother or a child.

Photo by Simon Rae on Unsplash

There are so many ways I can start this piece of writing. So many words, so many sentences I can string.

I finally chose to open this piece with a warm heartfelt wish to all of you amazing women out there who bear the title of a MOTHER.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

This Mother’s Day is yet another first for me. First of the many firsts in my new world of life without my mother.

It’s the first Mother’s Day I’m celebrating without my mother.

I debated with myself last night. Should I write a tribute piece to my mother? It’s an important milestone in my journey yet I feel like I shouldn’t dampen Mother’s Day mood because let’s just be honest, it’s sad to celebrate — for the very first time — Mother’s Day without a mother.

This morning, a message came in from my brother and it ended all my inner conflicts.

He sent me a picture of my grandmother with a bouquet of flowers.

My lovely grandmother with her Mother’s Day bouquet.

So instead of telling you how I feel celebrating my first motherless Mother’s Day, I’m gonna tell you something else.

Call it an epiphany.

I lost my mother last year.

My grandmother lost a daughter.

She (my grandmother) cried on her birthday upon receiving a red pocket (it’s a Chinese tradition) from my brother and I’m sure she cried again this morning as she held the big bouquet of flowers in her arms.

As I’m always away from home, my brother has assumed the tradition my mother used to perform for my grandmother.

In tears, my grandmother told my brother that she missed my mother a lot.

My mother always made sure she gave presents to my grandmother every year, on her own birthday, on my grandmother’s birthday and on Mother’s Day.