Initially, joining Medium was a part of my effort to make writing my full-time job. A friend of mine sent me a Medium article on the best way to make a living out of writing and after reading it, I decided that Medium is the best place for me to start my journey.
I have never thought that I would get so much more from an online platform.
I have always had problem sharing my predicament with others. It takes a very long time for me to open up to another person. Trust takes a long time to build. You don’t just hand it out in a whim.
There is actually a story behind it. Back in high school, I had a huge family dispute going on at home. It caused a lot of hurt and chaos to a lot of people. I was 16 years old, still trying to figure out life, still trying to find the answer to the question of who I am and life was pretty much hell at the time.
I remember what my mother used to tell me repeatedly when we were alone during that time of emotional turbulence.
“You can’t trust anyone but yourself. You shouldn’t talk to anyone about the problem in our home. It will spread like a wildfire and it will bring shame to the family.”
I’m not going to disclose the details of the dispute but basically, in the culture where I was brought up, family dispute — no matter how small — is an absolute disgrace, and living in a small town where one of the favourite pastime of the majority of its occupants is gossiping, telling another soul about what’s happening behind the door is highly forbidden.
A façade had to be maintained. And we all had to pay for it.
In the end, I couldn’t. I had to tell someone. Anyone. I was drowning and I needed help, badly. So I talked to one of my bestfriends and to one of my teachers. Sharing the burden with someone really helped.
There are times when we are so engrossed in our problem that it feels like we are the only one experiencing it and that no one else would understand. We feel so alone, trapped with no solutions and no way out. I’ve learned that that’s not always the case when I started sharing my stories with others. I started with the people in my social circle.