My February Medium Earning

A lesson on gratitude.

2 min readMar 2, 2019

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

I actually saw this coming. I’ve had a chat with another writer on Medium about having more claps but earning less these past couple of weeks. Apparently there were a few other writers who shared the same conundrum too.

So when I finally received an e-mail of what I’ve earned from Medium for the month of February, I couldn’t stopped staring at the numbers on the screen.

I looked at my earnings for this month and even though I saw it coming, I still felt this… feeling just blossomed inside my chest without a warning.

Disappointment.

The amount of my earnings have been gradually climbing up that a decrease sent me into a dissatisfaction or worse, unhappiness (*shudder*).

I had to mentally slapped myself. Like literally. But inside my head.

What is this attitude? I should know better!

I’m being ungrateful!

I can still remember the feeling of earning my first $20 from my first month in Medium. I was so happy! Happy might be an understatement. I was ecstatic, elated, joyful!

I smiled so wide it hurt my cheeks!

I’m earning more than that first $20 now. Why shouldn’t I be happy about it? There are people out there who probably work more and earn less, probably doing the job they dislike.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I sensed a rebellion from my contentment department in my head and I immediately squashed it down like a bug.

There is no place nor energy for this ungrateful crap.

I am healthy. I live in a good, comfortable place. I am surrounded by loving, caring, amazing people and most importantly, I am actually making a living from doing what I love doing the most!

Why should I be unhappy just because I earn less than last month?

Instead of lamenting and pondering why, I should be striving to do better. This is NOT a permanent situation and I have the power to change it.

So I’m not going to sit and wonder why I earn less this month. Instead, I’m gonna sit and try to figure out how I can better myself for next month and the month after and the month after.